


I Don't Want To Be A Hokage

by Ourliazo



Series: A Brief Foray [5]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!, Naruto
Genre: Gen, Hokage!Tsuna, Hyuuga!Kyouya, I'm Not Sorry For That, I'm sorry for that, Lizard Summon!Reborn, Reborn Is So OP, Ryohei Is The Beautiful Yellow Beast Of Konoha, Uchiha!Mukuro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 14:30:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12134487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ourliazo/pseuds/Ourliazo
Summary: The nine-tailed bijuu attacks Konoha and Tsuna tries his best to keep everyone alive. If the Uchiha and Hyuuga clan heads could stop trying to kill each other that would also be very helpful.





	I Don't Want To Be A Hokage

**Author's Note:**

> Background: Naruto AU, pre-cannon

 

 

Tsuna ignores his frantic ANBU guards and charges towards the gush of destructive chakra given off by the huge nine-tailed fox in the middle of his village.

Tsuna reaches the bijuu in seconds thanks to his Hiraishin and in all his years as a ninja he has never seen anything this horrific. There's rubble littering every inch of ground from all the buildings that were destroyed and occasionally Tsuna gets a split-second look at body parts barely peeking out of the blood splattered debris.

The bijuu is lashing out with its tails and firing off blasts of highly concentrated chakra, most of it burning the humans to a crisp just by passing too close. There are too many civilians getting caught in its wrath – this is a housing and shopping district, right in the peak of traffic.

The three Sannin are working together to try and contain the monster from moving around the village any more than it already has. Colonnello has called up the eagle boss summon to attack from the sky, while Verde is distracting it from one side with his boss crocodile, and Lal is guarding the other side with her centipedes.

Tsuna leaps off the roof and sends a series of Rasengans into the beast but the attacks just seem to be absorbed. Two blurs skate past him and flicker into the forms of Kyouya and Fon, the two Hyuuga twins raining down devastating blows.

They knock it right into the path of Mukuro, the Uchiha clan head, and his one working Sharingan spins wildly in effort to try and control the bijuu. The nine-tails stalls for a second but shakes its head and snarls louder.

For a moment Tsuna actually thinks the two clans are working together, but then Kyouya throws a kunai and Mukuro has to duck before his Sharingan gets stabbed out. Then the men start fighting each other like there isn't a demon killing everything and if Tsuna wasn't so busy with throwing out ninjutsu he would have started screaming at them.

Thankfully Chrome shows up and drags her cousin away while Fon grabs Kyouya and physically throws the other Hyuuga at the nine-tails. Suddenly the place is overrun with hedgehog summons and Tsuna is pretty sure Kyouya is causing more damage to the infrastructure than the nine-tails is.

This is why no one likes the Hyuuga. Most of them are pompadour weirdos, and the minority that aren't subscribe to the school of thought distinctly for fighting maniacs. Fon is okay if you don't insult his martial arts, but Kyouya is a big part of why Tsuna didn't want to become the Fourth Hokage.

Technically it's in his blood since the First is Giotto but damn it Tsuna just wants to be a jonin sensei and help kids.

"Fourth!" Hayato calls out, leaping over to Tsuna's rooftop. He doesn't stumble despite the leaf headband covering his borrowed eye.

Takeshi drops down next, the Uchiha's headband slanted as well, his remaining Sharingan in full bloom. As always, Tsuna hides a flinch because the Kanabi bridge was his failure and he shouldn't have left the kids alone. It could have ended so much worse if Tsuna hadn't gotten there in time and called Reborn for help.

Haru arrives last, hands already coated in green healing chakra which she presses to Tsuna's stomach. The Fourth Hokage looks down, rather surprised he didn't feel the large cut. Must have been shrapnel.

Tsuna looks back up at his students and wants to tell them to leave, but he knows they won't go and frankly Konoha needs all the help it can get right now. At least he can try and keep them out of danger. "Grab the wounded and take them to the evacuation centre," he orders his students.

"Yes, sensei!" they all chorus, immediately dropping down to try and save as many people as they can.

Tsuna darts to the side and grabs onto The Beautiful Yellow Beast Of Konoha, ordering Ryohei to also help the wounded. The weird teenager agrees (extremely) loudly and starts piling unconscious people onto his shoulders.

Tsuna bites his thumb hard enough to make it bleed and then slams his hand down onto the rooftop. There's a puff of smoke and the boss of the lizard contract appears.

Reborn glances around in mild curiosity, unfazed by the screaming and corpses and heavy killing intent that seems to double the gravity. The lizard boss notices the lack of espresso and then reverse summons himself back to his dimension. Either Tsuna provides espresso or he doesn't get Reborn.

Tsuna cries out in frustration and summons him again. As soon as Reborn appears Tsuna grabs the lapels of his suit jacket and shakes him. "My village is being destroyed! My family and friends are dying and you pick now to be difficult?!"

Reborn rolls his eyes and forcefully uncurls Tsuna's fingers from his jacket. "I don't care about your silly village. We had a deal and you're the one who's breaking it."

Tsuna glares. "Konoha is the only place that grows your special beans. No Konoha means no espresso."

Reborn spends a moment contemplating. "Fine."

He vanishes.

And then comets rain down from the heavens, coated in a yellow so bright that stars can't compare. The nine-tails goes down hard and gets slammed into the earth with each hit from the Chaos Shot, making a crater large enough to bury the bijuu in.

The shower of chakra creates a blast wave so strong that Tsuna is forced to drop to the rooftop and cling to the edge as hard as he can with chakra. Anything not nailed down (and even some things that are) get swept away and thrown across the village.

Ninja tumble through the air along with bits of shattered buildings and furniture. Tsuna reaches out and snags the Third Hokage's son when the teenager flies past. Despite being saved, Xanxus does not look happy to see Tsuna.

After what seems like an hour of the lizard summon mashing up the nine-tails into something drinkable through a straw, the bijuu finally dies, dispersing into the air with another blast wave that builds onto the one caused by the Chaos Shot.

The rooftop Tsuna is clinging to can't take it anymore and gives out under the combined power. The Fourth Hokage is ripped away and tossed uncontrollably through the air. He curls into a protective ball and blacks out when a block of concrete says an enthusiastic hello to the back of his head.

* * *

Tsuna groans and struggles to open his eyes through the pain radiating mostly from his skull but also everywhere else. Tsuna weakly rolls his head to the side and finds himself splayed on the ground, maybe in the Forest of Death.

Polished leather shoes step into his line of vision and Reborn is peering down at him, a thermos in his hand, the one filled with espresso that Tsuna tries to carry everywhere in case he needs Reborn. The lizard must have gone back to the Hokage tower to find it since Tsuna forgot it this time.

"There's a valuable lesson to be learnt," the lizard summon says. "I don't know what it is, but I'm sure it's around here somewhere. Probably about growing beans in various locations – like not putting all your eggs in one basket."

"You literally belong to me," Tsuna sighs, his voice very close to a whine. "I'm your master – what, did I not train you properly? Why am I the only one with this problem?"

"Oh, Dame-Tsuna," Reborn coos patronisingly. "You're so cute when you think you have any say in our relationship. Who's an idiot? You're an idiot, yes you are. Good boy, so adorable."

"I would prefer  _any other contract_  to yours," Tsuna stresses. He's lying because the lizard is an incredibly powerful ally and Tsuna actually likes him when he's not being difficult, but if the Hokage says that aloud it'll just add to Reborn's already large ego.

"If you roll over for me, I'll give you a treat," Reborn coaxes, still in that sickly-sweet voice.

* * *

"So that didn't work," Byakuran says mockingly to Daemon.

"Shut up, Nagato," Daemon snaps.

"It's Byakuran."

"Byakuran is a stupid name."

"Says you _, Madara Uchiha_ ," the albino scoffs. "What, did you pick your new name when you were thirteen and trying to be cool?"

"I was fifteen and fuck you. I founded the first ninja village, what have you managed?"

**Author's Note:**

> Other story lines within this one:
> 
> 1\. The Daemon/Byakuran alliance does not last and the God Kawahira is not called to Earth.
> 
> 2\. Kyouya leaks a few rumours of the Uchiha planning a coup just so he can kill Mukuro. Fon realises just in time to stop it and once again tries to instil some sort of moral compass into his twin. He fails.
> 
> 3\. Leon is the actual lizard boss summon. Reborn is a human from a non-ninja dimension who goes along for the ride.
> 
> 4\. Chrome was born without the Sharingan so Mukuro gave her one of his.
> 
> 5\. Skull is Hidan and Viper is Kakuzu. This has no plot attached, I simply think it's an amusing comparison.
> 
> 6\. Verde is Orochimaru-levels of Bad Science but he hides it better so no one calls him out on human experimentation.
> 
> 7\. Estraneo pop up as Root and their extermination is the only thing Kyouya and Mukuro ever agree on.
> 
> 8\. Tsuna thinks about finally confessing to the kind girl at the ramen stand but somehow ends up married to Reborn. No one will help him get a divorce.


End file.
